It's hard to know what to expect out of a new box of crayons. I haven't opened a new Crayola 64 box in probably 25 years. I had heard that there were some strange new colors and familiar old colors with interesting new names., like "Purple Mountains Majesty" (a lighter, smoky purple), Macaroni and Cheese (a sort of Day-Glo Orange) and Mauvelous (Oh man!)
Lots of things are happening in my life right now. I'll try to lay them all out for those who wish to know in the now, and also for posterity.
First: This coming May, my roommate of over a decade and I will no longer be living together. He will be moving into one of his downstairs apartments to accomidate my new roommate. I have refered to her in the past in this blog as Lucy, and Lucy she will remain until she discovers this blog and says it's ok to use her real name.
Lucy has been bugging me for about a year now about how we should move into an apartment together, and how this arrangement would be mutually beneficial. I sleep during the day, and she at night, so we would hardly see each other. She is used to cooking for her family (she currently lives with her mother, and sister, and basically her entire neighborhood.) and promises that I would never have to cook another thing, and that she would clean the house, and etc...
I, for my own part, had been impotently considering moving out for about 2 years now. I was beginning to realize that I was stagnating, and needed a change if I wanted to break out of the rut that my life was enforcing.
So one day about a month ago, I sat down at the computer and start looking for affordable apartments that would fit our needs. Current Roommate was sitting at his computer
and I mentioned to him that in the near future, I may be moving out. He considered this for a while, and informed me that if I moved out, he wouldn't be able to justify staying in the larger upstairs apartment and so, instead of me leaving, what if he moved downstairs and Lucy and I could live here?
So, that's how I kicked my landlord out of his own apartment. :)
Second: After my recent UTTER FAILURES
to successfully date Lucy, I finally decided that enough was enough. Someone must have the answer to how I could attract and meet women. So, being the utter geek that I am, I began searching on Google. I signed up with several Internet Dating sites (AdultFriendFinder.com
, HOT or NOT
, and Face The Jury
) and had no real success.
Then, I came across the web site of David DeAngelo
. I had seen his name come up a few times as a Dating Guru, and decided to shell out the $20 bucks for his e-book.
I expected some half-assed listing of pick-up lines and hundred year old advice. What I got instead was an indepth view into what makes women attracted to men, and a through explanation of what men who are not naturally attractive* can do about it. * In this case, "naturally attractive" refers to men who just automatically create attraction in women without doing it on purpose. Extremely Good Looking Guys, Rich Guys, Bad Boys, etc... It doesn't necessarily mean the rest of us are ugly, just that we do not possess that certain quality, and thus we have to work harder than others.
The majority of David's teachings are about Self Improvement. What things am I doing wrong, and what can I do about it? This is actually the easy stuff, since it is quantifiable. I can get a nice haircut. I can make sure I look nice whenever I leave the house (even on days that I'm working.) I can scrub my own apartment. I'm not dependant on anyone or anything else to get this stuff done.
The rest of his teachings focus on one basic concept - Attraction is not a choice. If a woman does not feel attraction for you, you can not convince her with logical argument to be attracted to you. However, if she DOES feel attraction for you, no one (including herself) can convince her using logical argument to NOT be attracted to you. This also explains why women stay with men that are bad for them, and why explaining it to them doesn't help. No worries tho... One of the things David always mentions is to never take this stuff to extremes. You can USE this stuff without ABUSING it.
The reason that I am such a fan of David's teachings is that every single thing he teaches rings true. Everything he says works DOES work. I know because I look back on my own experiences, and what I've seen other guys doing, and I can now explain in my own mind why X didn't work, and why Y did, even when Y seems to be exactly the opposite of what you should be doing. Attraction isn't logical! (Actually, this is the concept that had me the most screwed up for so long. Being a guy with above average intelligence, I wrongly assumed that if I applied enough brain power to the problem, I should be able to figure out the 'inner logic' at work inside of women. Of course, I know now that logic has nothing at all to do with it!)
So, am I turing into some kind of Pick-up artist? Doubtful. But in the last month, I've gotten contact information from three different women. We'll see how things progress from here.
And Lastly: It must be middle age, or something. I was at Family Dollar a few days ago, and saw an old familiar friend sitting on the shelf. I checked my cash, and decided that I could indulge myself a bit, and now I remember why coloring was so much fun. Deciding what color to make something, finding the right crayon, staying inside the lines... It's very relaxing, assuming I can keep my OCD tendancies away from it.
And fire hydrants can be any color you want them to be.